Seven months ago, I found out that I was very unexpectedly expecting my third child. I have two of the little chimps already, and the impending arrival of a third was met with some trepidation to say the least. After freaking out for a few months, we started the necessary preparations for the arrival of Sprog 3.
In my case, this meant starting off by buying a teeny tiny pair of converse. It’s all about priorities.
As a self employed photographer, I never took much leave after I had my first two. Firstly, I wasn’t aware (until recently) that if you’re self employed you are even eligible for maternity pay. Secondly, at the time we simply couldn’t afford it, with my job being so seasonal. I’m lucky that even when I work full time I can work from home, and most of the time I can organise my time into having only a couple of days away from the children.
This time, we decided that with there soon to be three children, I should probably take some proper time off.
Determined not to waste my upcoming leave, I made a plan of things to do whilst I was having some time off. Below is said list.
The first two were completed fairly quickly. I found out that biscotti are strange little Italian biscuits. I made some and they looked like this.
My third point didn’t go so well either. I started sorting out our belongings in an organised and timely manner, posting pictures of ironed and well presented children’s clothes on to Facebook and eBay. this was quite time consuming, so I stopped ironing and started just presenting the clothes un-ironed and presented on the floor. this still took too much time, so I then posted a picture of of the clothes in a bin bag with the caption ‘Please take my crap, anyone??’ Weirdly, my attempts at selling our belongings was taking too much time and was ridiculously boring. So I just gave it all to the charity shop. that’s so me, just a giving kind of gal.
So that’s most of my list done. Which now means I have to finally get around to plucking up the courage to put my personal blog out there. Why am I finding it so daunting? I’ve been running a fairly successful business for years; I have managed to convince some poor mug to marry me; I [we] own a home; I am semi-successfully raising three children (well one of them is only a few weeks old, it’s quite early to tell whether I’ve emotionally damaged her yet or not). I’ve been writing for years, why have I put off getting people to actually read it?
BECAUSE I A AM A WIMP.
But unfortunately, even the biggest wimps in the world can’t ignore something if it on a list, so I’ve got to do it now. Hopefully no-one will be too mean to me. Hopefully other bloggers won’t turn on me and talk behind my back about how crap I am. Hopefully perfect wives and parents won’t send me hate mail about how I am not one of them. Although, there is very little chance of anyone being mean to me if no one reads it. OH GOD WHAT IF NO-ONE READS IT? What if I write and write and write and no-one ever wants to read a single word I have written, and then I become obsessed with writing more and more, hoping one day to find out the secret behind being a super successful blogger who has people that read my work but never succeed and so spiral into a deep depression about why everyone hates me so much and then my husband leaves me and i can’t keep up the mortgage payments and my children and I all become homeless and I have to sell our dog to buy food? OH GOD WHAT IF NO-ONE READS IT?
I think I’ve set the tone for my blog.